Considering having a personal attendant for your wedding? A personal attendant will help you enjoy your wedding day by taking some basic tasks off your hands. Learn more about the role, responsibilities, and dress code for a wedding personal attendant!
Ultimate Guide to Personal Attendants: What to Wear & Responsibilities
What do personal attendants do? Personal attendant is a less common wedding role that we think is highly underrated. Their main purpose is to take care of the bride and sometimes also the rest of the bridal party. Some responsibilities might include helping the bride get dressed and keeping the bridal party on schedule. Below is everything you need to know about personal attendants from what they wear to what they do.
What Do Personal Attendants Wear to the Wedding?
You have a few different options of what you can ask your personal attendant to wear depending on who you choose and what you expect them to do. They can coordinate with your bridesmaids or match a specific color palette. Otherwise, they can choose their own outfit that fits into the wedding dress code.
Option 1: Have Her Coordinate with the Bridesmaids
If you want to include your personal attendant in the bridal party, coordinate her dress with the bridesmaids. You have a couple options here! One option is she could wear matching dresses with the bridesmaids - though it's not super common. A more popular approach is wearing the same dress in a different color. Or, she could wear the same color dress in a different style. This idea is perfect if your personal attendant is a close friend who you want in your bridesmaid photos.
Option 2: Provide a Color Palette to Choose From (Related to Your Wedding Colors)
One easy way to make sure your personal attendant looks great on wedding day is to ask her to wear a specific color. Consider sending her information about your wedding color palette to help her coordinate. Offering a direction for your personal attendants to follow will help them find a dress that fits your vision. It will also help differentiate them from
Option 3: Same Dress Code As Wedding Guests (Whatever Look They Prefer)
If you don’t have an outfit preference for your personal attendant, let them choose their outfit. Just request that sure it falls within the dress code, like the remainder of the wedding guests. This works well if your personal attendant is not going to be in your bridesmaid photos. Plus, it's easy if you're hiring a personal attendant you don’t know instead of asking a friend or family member.
What Do Personal Attendants Do at the Wedding?
The personal attendant is here to keep you sane during your wedding! She not only keeps you company, but makes sure you and your bridal party are taken care of, well fed, and on schedule. Her list of responsibilities can vary depending on if she's a personal friend or professional. If you’re hiring a professional you can ask a lot more of them! If you’re choosing a friend to lend you a hand, don't expect them to do a bunch of work. After all, you want to be considerate of their feelings and make sure they aren’t too busy to enjoy the wedding.
1) Ultimate Job: Take Care of the Bride
The most important role a personal attendant has is to take care of the bride. They’re called a personal attendant for that reason: they are the bride’s personal assistant, helper, and stylist. She will help the bride get dressed, bring her water, and touch up her make-up when needed.
2) Help Out During Photos (Especially Rounding Up Family)
The personal attendant will help make sure the wedding photos are perfect by getting everyone in place. Everyone will pose for pictures at different intervals since they won’t all fit in every photo. A personal attendant can go round up each group as they are needed for photos.
3) Run Any Last-Minute Errands the Brides Might Need
One big difference between the personal attendant and the role of a bridesmaid is that the attendant may leave to run errands. This leaves the bridesmaids available to stay with the bride and enjoy the day together. The personal attendant can go for a coffee run, grab extra bobby pins, or pick up breakfast for the bridal party.
4) Carry the Bride’s Phone, Tissues, etc.
The personal attendant can carry the essentials with her so the bride doesn’t have to. Someone needs to hold the bride’s purse, phone, spare make-up and tissues for when she tears up. It would also be very thoughtful to take some videos/photos on her phone. Another potential way to help is bringing a wedding day emergency kit! That way, the bride will be ready for any hiccups that may arise.
5) Help Set Up (And Possibly Tear Down) Wedding Decor
You may want to ask your personal attendant if she can help set up and tear down wedding decor. However, their ability to do so will depend on what time they’re expected to be at the wedding. Ask them what they think about helping before you assume they’ll be arriving early and leaving late. Especially if your personal attendant is a friend and not hired, be respectful of their time.
6) Be The Bride’s Personal Messenger and a Friendly Buffer
You’re going to need someone to be a go-between communicator for you on wedding day. Before the wedding, you might not be able to communicate much with your spouse-to-be. Your attendant can help pass along messages to him/her. During the wedding, you may need to communicate with vendors while you're busy. Or, you might need someone to help be your buffer if a relative keeps you talking too long or you need a few moments alone.
7) Make Sure the Wedding Couple and Bridal Party Eat
One of the nicest parts of having a personal attendant is that she can go grab you food throughout the day. From appetizers during cocktail hour to making sure you sit down and eat your dinner during the reception, you won't go hungry. She can even pick up your food orders earlier in the day while you’re getting ready!
Top Wedding Personal Attendant Questions & Answers
Since a personal attendant is a less known wedding role, you might have a few questions about their job! Here are answers to the top asked questions about personal assistants. Hopefully, it will provide enough information to help you understand the role.
1) Can Personal Attendants Wear Bridesmaid Dresses?
Absolutely - personal attendants can wear bridesmaid dresses! It’s a great choice to keep everything looking cohesive and for making them stand out from the rest of the guests. Make sure they know ahead of time that you expect them to buy a bridesmaid dress. You can get them a corsage instead of a bridesmaid bouquet.
2) Do Personal Attendants Get Their Hair & Makeup Done?
They can - but this isn’t a requirement. This totally depends on if you’re including them as a part of the bridal party or not. It doesn’t matter if their hair and makeup is perfect if they aren’t in the wedding party photos.
3) Who Does the Bride Choose As a Personal Attendant?
A friend, family member, or hired professional are all great choices for your personal attendant. The benefit of hiring a professional is that she is paid to focus solely on helping you. After all, she won't be a part of the festivities like someone close to you would be be. The other option is asking a friend or family member to help you out on your wedding day. This will be a much more casual approach to the personal attendant role. If you're expecting a lot of assistance, it's not fair to put that on a personal relationship. Be realistic with your own expectations, and choose based on what works best for you.
4) Do Personal Attendants Sit at the Head Table?
It is up to you where your personal attendant will sit. Depending on who you chose, it might make sense to put them at your head table with the rest of the bridal party. This also depends if you have space at your head table. More than likely, they will fit better somewhere else sitting amongst the guests.
5) How Many Personal Attendants Can You Have?
Generally, you’ll only need one personal attendant. However, choosing two is also an option. Having two personal attendants means they can share the responsibilities. They can trade off or work together so they can each have some time to enjoy the wedding.
Will You Have a Personal Attendant for Your Wedding?
You aren’t required to have a personal attendant at your wedding but we highly recommend looking into it. A personal attendant is especially useful if you don't have a wedding planner or wedding coordinator. The greatest benefit of a personal attendant is the ability to be present at your own wedding. You won't have to worry about running around making sure everything is going smoothly. Personal attendants allow you to focus on enjoying your wedding and making memories.
Have questions about other wedding roles? Check out our guide to every wedding party role.