The Ultimate Guide To Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

by Kennedy Blue October 27, 2017 33 Comments

When I was getting married just some months ago, one of the most important things to us was that we write our own vows. We had been to many friends’ weddings (approximately one zillion, to be exact) and they’d almost all decided to go with traditional marital vows. And it was great and beautiful! There really is nothing wrong with that. We just preferred to make that moment in our ceremony a bit more personal – more “us” – by writing our own.

You might be thinking, “Hah, easy for a writer to say.” To which I’d respond, “Well, non-writers are usually writers who just haven’t realized it yet. And I’m willing to bet you are, too.” I’ll also add that my husband isn’t a professional writer, either. In fact, he works in insurance, AKA the least mushy and creative job ever.

Fast-forward to the wedding day: We’d decided to keep them a surprise from each other. And when the big moment came to finally read each other the vows we’d written, in front of all the people who loved us, it was an unforgettable moment, to say the least. And you know what? I’ll just go ahead and say it's my favorite memory from the entire wedding. We even included them in our scrapbook – the folded and worn original papers we wrote our vows on.

So, if you’re thinking of writing your own vows too, well, I’m a big fan of that decision. And because I vividly remember how daunting it felt for us, I’m hoping these tips and a little love-themed reading will get your creative juices flowing.

P.S. At the end, I’ll share our own wedding vows with you. (If you promise not to judge our cheesiness.)

3 Handy Tips for Writing Your Own Vows

Tips on writing your own wedding vows | The Ultimate Guide To Writing Your Own Wedding Vows | Kennedy Blue

1. Keep it real.
Honestly, some of the most adorable wedding vows I’ve heard have been the ones in which the couple included little things that were unique to only them, like inside jokes or silly ways they talked to each other.

For example, I included a little bit of Spanish because it was my first language and my husband knows how important my Colombian culture is to me. To my utter surprise, he included the same phrase in Spanish in his vows! What the what?

With yours, you could either keep it mostly serious like we did, or you can throw in a couple of funny lines if that’s more your style. Whatever you do, just be your real self. Be honest. Say it how you and only you could say it.

2. Write them (at least a little) in advance 

So, this probably goes without saying, but just in case: You definitely don’t want to rush or scramble through this. Not because your vows have to be perfectly poetic (they don’t), but because you want to make sure plenty of thought goes into writing them. You want to give yourself time to reread, edit, add, take out, etc. In essence, you want to make sure you feel really good about them. 

If you’re pressed for time and busy with other to-dos, know that you don’t have to dedicate a big chunk of time to this. You can start by jotting down ideas as they come to you, maybe while watching TV or listening to music. Write them in a note on your phone or random pieces of paper lying around. And then, when you have some downtime, you can string all your ideas together.

Putting it all off until the last minute might make your mind feel rushed and nervous. And nothing crushes creativity and inspiration like panicky nerves – not that I’m speaking from experience or anything. (Just kidding, I totally am.)

3. Don’t self-edit too much. 

Know how I just said you wanted to give yourself time to edit? Well, now I’m saying: try not to self-edit too much. If you’ve read your vows so many times it’s made your head spin, that’s a clue that you might be overthinking it.

Whatever you decide to leave in is great. Whatever you decide to take out is great. Your vows, no matter what they end up saying, will be great. Better yet, they’ll be perfect, because your words are going to make your soon-to-be spouse’s heart melt into a pool of happy-lovey feels, and therefore, you can’t really go wrong.

25 Love Quotes to Inspire You

Everyone needs a little inspiration sometimes. And when it came to writing our own vows, we certainly did – we had no clue where or how to begin. If you too are looking for inspiration, you can listen to music, watch a TV show, catch a feel-good movie, look through old pictures, or go on a special date and free-write some thoughts after that.

Or, another thing you can do is read how others have put their love into words before you. Inspiration is everywhere, and because I’m a sucker for heartfelt words no matter where they appear, I’ve put together a list of my favorite love quotes that I hope you’ll enjoy and feel inspired by. Happy reading! 

Such a cute love photo! | The Ultimate Guide To Writing Your Own Wedding Vows | Kennedy Blue

Anita Martin Photography

“All I understood was that she was the girl I sat up every night thinking about, and when I’m with her I’m happy to be alive. Like I can do anything, even talk to you like this. That’s what love is, Mom, when I am a better person because she is here.” —Boy Meets World 

“Here’s to all the places we went, and all the places we’ll go. And here’s to me whispering again and again and again and again: I love you.” —John Green, An Abundance of Katherines

“We are not perfect – we’ll learn from our mistakes. And as long as it takes, I will prove my love to you. I am not scared of the elements. I am under-prepared, but I am willing. And even better, I get to be the other half of you.” —Sara Bareilles, I Choose You

"Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like 'struggle.' To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now." —Fred Rogers

"All that you are is all that I'll ever need."—Ed Sheeran

E. E. Cummings Quote | The Ultimate Guide To Writing Your Own Wedding Vows | Kennedy Blue

Whim Photography

“To love a person is to see all of their magic, and to remind them of it when they have forgotten.” —Unknown

“I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other.” —The Vow

“There’s nothing you could become that I haven’t already fallen in love with.” —Rainbow Rowell, Attachments

“On rainy days, love is an umbrella. On cold days, love is a warm blanket. And on the sunniest of days, love makes life even brighter.” —A Hallmark card I wrote

 

Lao Tsu love quote! | The Ultimate Guide To Writing Your Own Wedding Vows | Kennedy Blue

Russell Heeter Photography

“I love you, Not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you. I love you, Not only for what you have made of yourself, But for what you are making of me.” —Roy Croft, Love

“I’m scared that I’m going to make a hundred wrong decisions to keep you from living the perfect life that you deserve, but I will protect you fiercely, and I will always sing to you when you can’t sleep, and I will always be excited to hear you laugh.”—This Is Us

Such a cute love quote! | The Ultimate Guide To Writing Your Own Wedding Vows | Kennedy Blue

PHOCO Photography

"I swear I couldn't love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow." –Leo Christopher

"Today and always, beyond tomorrow, I need you beside me, always as my best friend, lover, and forever soulmate."—Ritu Ghatourey

"To love someone is to see all their magic and to remind them of it when they have forgotten." —Unknown

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." —Dr. Seuss

"When someone else's happiness is your happiness, that is love." —Lana Del Ray 

“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” —Franklin P. Jones

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”—Oscar Wilde 

“Love is a promise; love is a souvenir. Once given never forgotten, never let it disappear.”—John Lennon

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.” —Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

"Today I devote myself to you, as your partner, and your friend. To be beside you always, filling your heart with happiness and fond memories. I promise to empower you in the pursuit of your dreams, to support your search for fulfillment in life, to celebrate your achievements  and to lift you up when you fall. I have loved you since the day we first met, and I will love you with the same passion that fills my heart now every day for the rest of our lives, con todo mi corazón." —My husband’s vows to me

"Saying “I love you” means saying “I choose you.” Because although loving you is effortless, I know that love requires intention... that it’s an act of the will. And this is what I vow that I will do:

I will encourage, trust and cherish you. I will create a home with you, built on a foundation of laughter and compassion. I will be right here beside you, always – your partner and friend through anything life brings. Choosing you is the best – and easiest – decision I’ve ever made. That’s why today and every day for the rest of my life, I will choose you... I will adore you... & I will love you con todo mi corazón." —My vows to my husband

Lets Chat

I hope you've enjoyed these tips on how to write your perfect wedding vows, as well as the inspirational love quotes! Tell us if you're planning to write your vows (or already have) and which love quotes are your favorite! 



    Kennedy Blue
    Kennedy Blue

    Author



    33 Responses

    Jodie P
    Jodie P

    April 14, 2018

    What great tips! Thanks for sharing!

    Stephanie
    Stephanie

    January 07, 2018

    Very helpful hints! My fiancé and I are talking about writing our own vows and I wasn’t really sure where to start. This is great :)

    Jeanne
    Jeanne

    January 01, 2018

    Yes! Such a great starting point.

    Amber Saulsbury
    Amber Saulsbury

    January 01, 2018

    Love this post. Great tips. And I’m crying reading your vows. Oy. ?

    Breon Oliver
    Breon Oliver

    December 29, 2017

    My Fiance wrote our vows on a scroll! It was a great idea!

    Elisabeth Ashton
    Elisabeth Ashton

    December 18, 2017

    Great ideas!

    Brooke Hibma
    Brooke Hibma

    December 13, 2017

    Ah! These tips are wonderful! Very helpful :) thank you!

    Sharlini Sugunan
    Sharlini Sugunan

    December 10, 2017

    This post is just what I needed! I’m so worried about writing my own vows and treading the line between making it sentimental and saying what I want to say but also keeping it short. Thanks!

    Rebecca
    Rebecca

    December 07, 2017

    Definitely great tips! I feel like I’ve been Keeping track of certain inside jokes or stories I want to write in my vows since before we were even engaged! I know once it comes time to actually write them next year, I’ll have writers block for sure, so I’ll need to keep this article handy :)

    Samantha Nystrom
    Samantha Nystrom

    December 06, 2017

    Great tips! Love the quotes!

    Miranda
    Miranda

    December 06, 2017

    I loved this! I want to write our own so this was really helpful!

    Marisa
    Marisa

    December 04, 2017

    Tearing up thinking about writing mine ?

    Annie
    Annie

    December 03, 2017

    This was very helpful and reassuring. Writing our vows has been a bit challenging because we’re always worried about the “correct” way to do them and I sometimes feel mine aren’t good enough.

    Emma
    Emma

    December 02, 2017

    Cool!!

    Ash
    Ash

    December 01, 2017

    Great tips!

    Mariah
    Mariah

    December 01, 2017

    So excited to write mine

    Tenia
    Tenia

    December 01, 2017

    I’m thinking of doing traditional vows for the ceremony but still writing vows that we share in private. Anyone else considering this?

    Ashley
    Ashley

    November 04, 2017

    Great tips!!

    Brittany
    Brittany

    November 03, 2017

    I love this! I definitely want to write my own vows and my fiance does as well. I kind of want the exchanging of vows to take place during the ceremony somewhat privately while music plays :) I love how many ‘right’ ways there are to do a wedding :)

    Melissa
    Melissa

    November 02, 2017

    This is a great article!

    Ashley
    Ashley

    November 01, 2017

    Love the advice! :)

    Shelby
    Shelby

    November 01, 2017

    Writing my vows has made me nervous. This calms my nerves some. I can’t wait until my wedding day!

    rachel
    rachel

    November 01, 2017

    love it!

    Elizabeth
    Elizabeth

    November 01, 2017

    Can’t wait to start writing!

    Ashlynn
    Ashlynn

    November 01, 2017

    Thank you for these ideas! I really want us to write our own and this helps me out a lot to get the ball rolling ?

    Katie B
    Katie B

    October 31, 2017

    Love this. It’s so overwhelming to think about…this definitely helps!

    Joanne
    Joanne

    October 31, 2017

    Great advice!

    Shelby
    Shelby

    October 30, 2017

    So perfect! Gonna give it a try!

    Abby
    Abby

    October 30, 2017

    Great ideas! I am thinking of writing my own wedding vows. I like you and your husband’s vows; it’s so cool that you both used the same Spanish phrase!

    Marissa Iwanylo
    Marissa Iwanylo

    October 29, 2017

    This was really helpful!!! I can’t wait to get started writing!

    Amy Schmitt
    Amy Schmitt

    October 28, 2017

    Any advice for cow renewals?

    Jillianne
    Jillianne

    October 28, 2017

    Thank you! This is very helpful ?

    Alexis
    Alexis

    October 28, 2017

    This will help me alot! I have a hard time coming up with things to say!

    Leave a comment

    Comments will be approved before showing up.


    Also in Wedding Blog

    8 Things You're Doing Wrong While Bridesmaid Dress Shopping

    by Krystal Jankowski November 14, 2018

    Continue Reading

    The Real Florists' Guide to Picking Your Perfect Wedding Flowers

    by Krystal Jankowski November 07, 2018

    When it comes to wedding flowers, it always seems like all the floral options are the perfect option for your dream wedding. But where do you even start? We asked a real florist for all of the tips and tricks she has for picking your perfect wedding flowers! 

    wedding flowers

    Continue Reading

    Looking for Kennedy Blue Bridesmaid Dresses Under $100?

    by Kennedy Blue November 06, 2018

    Continue Reading

    Measurement Guide and Size Chart

     

     

    Taking Your Measurements

    Bust

    Wearing the undergarments that you will wear with the dress, wrap the measuring tape around your back and under your arms at the fullest part of your bust.

    Waist

    Stand up straight and bend to the side, the crease created is your natural waist. Wrap tape around the narrowest part of your natural waist.

    Hips

    Stand with your feet together, wrap the tape around the fullest part of your hips and seat.

     

     

    Ordering the Right Size:

    Compare your three measurements to the size chart above. We recommend ordering the largest of the three sizes. Our size chart is standard, meaning, it fits one general body type! With the wide variety of body types, it is rare to find an exact fit, therefore, alterations are recommended to achieve a perfect fit!

    If you have any questions on what size to order one of our representatives would love to assist you in the process. Reach out to info@kennedyblue.com or chat online M-F 10am-4pm CST.