After the wedding is said and done, there’s probably nothing you’d rather do than honeymoon and relax…and we definitely don’t blame you! In fact, I can name about 100 different things that I’d rather do than get hand cramps while writing out hundreds of handwritten thank you cards. However, you gotta get it done, girl, so you may as well grab some coffee, maybe even a sugary pastry (but don’t smudge the stationary!), and put a smile on your face!
While it can almost seem as daunting as the planning process itself, I assure you — with a little organization and some helpful tips, you’ll have your wedding thank you notes done in no time! So keep reading to learn all of the thank you card etiquette do’s and don’ts, organization tips, and some samples of what to write!
Wedding Thank You Notes FAQs
When should wedding thank you notes be sent?
Your thank you’s are expected to be received by the guest no later than two months after the wedding date or the date that the gift is received. If you go on a honeymoon immediately after, obviously no one expects you to be writing letters on the beach, but you should start working on them as soon as you get back.
What about digital thank you cards?
Emails and (oh my gosh, I shouldn’t even have to say this next one) texts are absolute no-no’s when it comes to thanking your guests. Even those cute online e-cards? Nope…don’t even think about it. A thank you note involves stationary, a handwritten message, and a stamp. No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it!
What do I write?
Every thank you card should mention the guests name(s), what they gave, why you’re excited to have it, and how you plan to use it. Check out an example below!
Should I reference the amount for monetary gifts?
Regardless whether they gave you a $20 gift or a $200 gift, all should be treated equally and you should never ever ever mention the amount (ever.) within your message. Be thankful that they thought to give you a gift regardless.
What if guests had additional wedding roles?
If any of your family or friends helped with the wedding planning, set-up, clean-up, calling relatives for RSVP’s, or spent any other time or energy other than simply just being a guest, PLEASE make sure to mention that! Thanking them for playing a helpful role in your big day will mean more to them than being thanked for the new crockpot.
How formal should wedding thank you's be?
“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Anderson…” Ew. Stop. These are your family and friends that you are writing too! It’s totally okay to be conversational and lighthearted. If you want to tell your uncle Mark how much you appreciated his killer dance moves — do it! If you want to tell your cousins that you can’t wait to host a drunken margarita night with the new blender — let them know! They’ll love a letter that actually sounds like it came from you rather than a template.
Should I send thank you's to our wedding vendors?
After all is said and done, they are easy to forget, but boy-oh-boy, did they play a big part in your big day! Sending them a handwritten note will be so appreciated by the staff that helped make your day come true.
Should I write thank you notes to guests who didn't bring a gift?
Just because they didn’t give a gift, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a thank-you for being an awesome attendee!
How can I stay organized when writing wedding thank you's?
How embarrassing would it be for a family to get two thank-you’s from you? Or even worse, to not get one at all? Find a system that works for you and make sure you stick to it! More on staying organized below.
Who should write thank you notes?
This can be your first real task as a married couple and shouldn’t be expected to be one person's responsibility! Besides, both your families attended! Divvy up the guest list and set aside time together each night to work on a number of thank you notes.
Helpful Tips To Ease The Task
- Create a system! Divvy up the task into a daily to-do number per day. For example, plan to get eight thank you notes written per night or every other night. That way, if you have 100 to get done, you can have them all completed within roughly 13 days!
- Get organized with a spreadsheet. As mentioned earlier, being organized is going to be so key to tackling this project with success and ease. Make a spreadsheet that you and your spouse can access while checking people off of the list. Create separate columns for the following: Guest Name, Address, Gift, Written, and Mailed. Put a checkmark in the “Written” and “Mailed” sections once the note has been completed and then again after it’s been placed in the mailbox.
- Order stationary ahead of time. Rather than worrying about writing your notes all at one time, order your stationary in advance so that you can write thank you’s as gifts arrive.
- Split the task. I touched on this earlier, but honestly, it’s easy to get burnt out from writing so many notes at once! Have your spouse help you and divvy up the task by writing cards for each other’s families. It’s a great way to bond with your new family and they’ll appreciate the gesture from their new son/daughter-in-law.
- Send a special message to your wedding party. They played a huge part in your big day and chances are, they spent a pretty penny to stand by your side. Send a special, thought-out note to everyone in your party — ushers, parents of the flower girl/ring bearer, the officiant, and all!
Examples Of What To Write In A Wedding Thank You Card
Sometimes figuring out how to get started is the hardest part. Rather than sitting around for 30 minutes with severe writers block, here are some examples to get you started.
Thank you notes should be at least three sentences, but of course, more is always better! Remember to keep the cards CAP — conversational, appreciative, and personal!
[Guests Who Brought a Gift]“Dear [Guests],
It meant so much to us for you to attend our wedding. The comforter was much appreciated and has been the perfect addition to a great night’s sleep! We can’t wait to use it for years to come! We love you and hope to see you soon.
X and X”
[Guests Who Gave a Monetary Gift]“Dear [Guest],
We’re so happy that you were able to attend our wedding day and loved chatting with you during the reception. We are saving up for a bathroom renovation and your gift will definitely help us reach our goal! We love you and hope to see you soon.
X and X”
[Guests Who Did Not Give a Gift]“Dear [Guest],
It meant so much to us that you were able to attend our wedding and share in our excitement! We had such a lovely time spending the day with family and friends and hope you enjoyed yourself as well. We love you and hope to see you soon!
X and X”
[Those Who Could Not Attend]“Dear [Name],
Thank you so much for the dish set that you sent as a gift! We’ve already eaten many delicious meals from them and absolutely adore how they compliment our kitchen. We’re sorry you couldn’t attend, but hope we can get together soon to look at all of the pictures!
X and X”
“Dear [Vendor Contact Name],
We are so appreciative of all the hard work that you put into our wedding day to help make it perfect! We got so many compliments on the [service] and loved telling our guests about [company name]. Our big day wouldn’t have been complete without you!
Thanks so much,
X and X”
Where to Get Thank You Cards
No matter the size of the wedding, you’re going to have to include thank you cards into your budget. Start looking early and keep an eye out for good deals — especially since you’ll likely need to buy them in bulk.
Whether you want something personalized with a photo from your big day, or something more simple with a simple “thanks” message on it, there are tons of options available, so it’s just a matter of determining what you prefer.
Here are some sites to consider:
Wedding Paper Divas - Personalized stationary. Available in bulk.
Minted - Personalized stationary. Available in bulk.
Paper Source - Personalized stationary and traditional stationary. Available in sets of 6-10.
Target - Traditional stationary. Quantities vary.
Barnes & Noble - Traditional stationary. Quantities vary.
Amazon - Traditional stationary. Quantities vary.
Rifle Paper Co. - Traditional stationary. Available in singles or sets of 8.
How do you plan to tackle your wedding thank you notes? Will your hubby be helping out or are you handling it solo? Will you create a spreadsheet or do you have a different organization method? Leave a comment below and let us know how you plan to get the job done! In the meantime, happy writing!