At one point or another, every bride goes through it. That sick-to-your-stomach feeling that makes you want to curl up on your couch and vent to every person you make eye contact with.
Yup, that’s guilt, ladies. And it’s setting in hard. Whether you decided not to invite kids or opted for a small wedding that will exclude a lot of your family, it seems that everyone likes to give their two-cents about weddings — “This is how you should do this” and “You’re not actually going to do that, are you!?” It's common for brides to feel like your decisions are disappointing family and/or guests, but honestly, you're probably way over-thinking it.
The truth is, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about when it comes to making those types of decisions for your big day, because guess what? It's your wedding! That being said, here are the 12 most common decisions that bride's feel guilty about when wedding planning and the reasons why you shouldn't feel bad for making them!
What Not To Feel Guilty About When Planning Your Wedding:
Getting financial help. If your parents are helping you to foot the bill (or are paying off the whole thing) it’s definitely not something to be ashamed of. In fact, why is it anyone’s business who’s paying anyway!? If anything, you should feel incredibly grateful to have such generous parents!
Not having a huge wedding. Not every wedding is hosted in a grand ballroom that can seat all 300 members of your family. Nope. In fact, in more cases than not, cuts need to be made and family needs to be understanding of that. Wedding size is a very personal decision and not everyone wants the grand event. Small, intimate weddings are becoming more and more popular so family and friends should respect your decision to have an intimate affair.
Not asking someone to be a bridesmaid. From friends, family, and future sister-in-laws, there are a lot of potential bridal party members that could be a part of your big day. Unfortunately, you probably can’t pick everybody. Don’t feel obligated to choose future SIL’s if you aren’t super close and if you want someone to play a special part in your wedding, but not necessarily be a bridesmaid, consider the roles of personal assistant and usher.
Your wedding being ‘nicer’ than others. It’s not a competition, but I totally understand how sometimes it can feel that way. You’re planning a wedding with few financial worries, while your best friend is shopping the sample sale racks for the best deal she can find. The fun thing about weddings is that they are all so different and more likely than not, she probably isn’t thinking, “ugh, her wedding will be so much better!” Her end goal is to tie the knot like you and really, that’s all that should matter!
Your friends throwing a bridal shower and bachelorette. This is a super common tradition and has become somewhat of an expectation, so don’t feel bad when your friends want to throw you an unforgettable bash! You only get married once and you’re spending plenty to make sure they have a great time on your wedding day so just sit back, and enjoy all the fun they throw your way.
Not giving everyone a plus one. This one really gets people worked up. As much as bride’s would love to invite everyone they know plus their friends, significant others, co-workers, etc., it’s just not at all feasible. Unless a guest is married or has been in a long-term relationship, you are in no way obligated to give them a plus one. Just imagine all the rando’s that could potentially show up. That girl your cousin met at a party last weekend? Yeah, no thanks.
Your BFF still being single. Alrighty, brides, it’s time to get off of your high horse. Just because you’re happily engaged doesn’t mean that all of your single (or non-engaged friends) are sulking every time they are blinded by that bling on your hand. Believe it or not, your friends are actually super excited for you so don’t worry about them being jealous and bitter.
Getting gifts. Whether you and your fiancé have never been roommates or you’ve been living together for years, this is the perfect opportunity to build your collection of household items or upgrade the things you currently have! If anything, think of it this way — you’re actually doing your gusts a service by creating a reference list of items so they know exactly what to get you! Plus, people will spend however much they’re comfortable with so don’t stress over the gift-giving!
You can’t stop talking about your wedding. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the details of your big day and honestly, there’s a lot to discuss and it’s a HUGE part of your life right now so don’t feel bad about it regularly coming up in conversation. However, if you notice your friends or family starting to get bored by the conversation, it might be time to switch it up a bit,
Not inviting kids. This is probably one of the greatest for most couples, especially because the idea of not inviting children is becoming more and more common. If you decide to host an adult-only soiree, I guarantee you’ll get a few eye rolls and whispers behind your back, but it’s your day and the last thing you need to worry about it kids running around. Plus, it’s a way more relaxing environment when adults can just sit back and un-wind, child-free. I know plenty of parents who look forward to leaving the kids with a babysitter so that they can have a fun night out.
Asking for help. There’s a lot that goes into planning a wedding and sometimes it can be a lot to handle on your own. Don’t feel ashamed to ask for help from your bridesmaids, friends, and family, because chances are, they’ll be super excited to help! Also, it’s quite common for people to assist, especially in a lot of the DIY projects, invitation stuffing, and set-up and break-down on the day-of.
Breaking away from ‘tradition’. Let’s put it this way — it’s totally okay if you don’t want to walk down the aisle to that traditional “here comes the bride” music. And it’s more than okay to skip tossing the bouquet and dollar dance during the reception. (Do people still do dollar dances?) And if you don’t want to wear white, don’t feel guilty that your grandma is throwing a fit in the front row. As weddings progress, more and more couples are breaking away from ‘traditional’ wedding practices and throwing the party that true suits them.
Did you find yourself nodding your head in agreement to one or more of these? Trust me, you're SO not alone! Negativity can be super hard to avoid, but just remember that this is your wedding day and you ultimately get to make the final decisions. And if you need any help, check out our blog on How to Deal With Bad Wedding Planning Advice.
Let's Chat! What is something that you've found yourself feeling guilty about during the wedding planning process and how did you handle the situation?
For the most accurate measurements, do not measure over your clothing. Your measurements should be taken while wearing undergarments similar to the ones you will wear with your dress. The measuring tape shouldn't be pulled too tight or have too much slack, and should always be parallel with the floor.
**Wedding apparel is typically sized differently than retail clothing, so keep in mind that it's not uncommon to find yourself requiring dress alterations.
Hollow-to-Hem: Hold the measuring tape vertically starting at the indent in your neck area between your collarbones and below your throat. Then, keeping the tape taught, bring the tape to the floor to meet your toes. This is your hollow-to-hem, or hollow-to-floor, measurement. The motion is similar to taking your height measurement.
Bust size: Wrap the tape around your back and under your arms at the fullest part of your bust (not underneath the bust).
Waist size: While standing up straight, bend at the waist to one side. Take the measurement where the natural crease happens in your side. This should be a few inches above your belly button. Stand up straight and do not suck in when taking this measurement.
Hip size: Standing with your feet together, wrap the tape around the fullest part of your hips and butt to get this measurement.
Choosing your correct size
Compare these three measurements to the Kennedy Blue size chart above. It is very important that you order the largest size that corresponds to your measurements. For example, if your bust measures 40.5" (size 12), your waist measures 31" (size 10) and your hips measure 41.5" (size 8), we advise that you order a size 12, and get your dress altered down to custom fit your body. Ordering anything smaller than a size 12 would not fit in the bust area. Depending on the fabric, a dress can be altered down up to 2 full sizes, but can be very difficult to let out as there is only about .5 inch of fabric to do so at the seams. Please note: Our bridal gown size chart is different than the bridesmaids sizing and is listed below.