Congratulations! Your love got down on one knee and finally popped that long awaited question. Maybe they hid the ring in a glass of champagne or tied it to the collar of an adorable family pet. No matter how they did it, it’s time to start thinking about wedding planning.
Although the months of meeting with potential photographers, booking endless tastings and dealing with insignificant arguments with your fiancée might make you question if getting married is worth it, we promise you it is! While there are tons of planning resources for brides, grooms are often forgotten! That’s why we put together this extensive wedding planning guide for grooms and groomsmen. You’ll definitely want to share these tips with your future hubby or any male friends planning a wedding! Read on to see exactly what guys need to be on top of during the planning process.
Choosing Your Wedding Party - Start With the Best Man
Before your groom can start any other wedding plans, ask him to think about who he would like to be his right hand man (or woman). If you’re going to be climbing Mt. Wedding Planning, you want to make sure his best man is going to be there to encourage you both in the hard times and celebrate with you in the good times. There are many tips for choosing a best man but to help you groom narrow down the perfect partner in crime, here are a few quick questions to make the search easier.
- Does have any brothers?
- Is his best man candidate age appropriate for pre-wedding activities?
- Who is his oldest and closest friend?
- Who can he trust with planning a speech, the bachelor party and - most importantly - not losing the rings?
Prime candidates for the role of best man could be a family member, his college roommate, or that childhood friend he shared that awkward acne and school dance phase with. No matter who he chooses, think about how they have been a large part of his life and how important that is for them to be apart of your special day.
Narrowing Down the Groomsmen
For the other groomsmen positions available, tell your groom to try narrow down his selection with this simple trick. Make a list ranking his friends. Depending on the wedding party size you and your significant other have decided on, this should make narrowing down the list easy. For example, if your wedding party size is six, any friends listed after the sixth name on the list should be made either an usher or cut from the groomsmen role in the wedding. Tell him to throw them an invite to the bachelor party and there won’t be too many hard feelings. However, if he feels strongly about having these people included in the immediate wedding party, don’t fret about having an even number of people on both sides. What’s most important is being surrounded by a supportive wedding party!
The Tuxedo vs. Suit
Now that you have both collected a wedding party, it’s time to start thinking about attire. As easy as it would be for him to throw on golf shorts and a polo to stroll down the wedding aisle, it wouldn’t exactly match a beautiful wedding dress that required a lot of thought. With his wedding party in mind and a theme you both have decided on, it’s time to ask a wedding attire question all grooms are forced to face: tuxedo or suit?
To put it simply, a tuxedo has a look that is much more formal than a suit. If your wedding has a theme that is elegant and sophisticated, this is the perfect opportunity for him to break out that timeless James Bond black tuxedo. He might be asking, how do I wear a tuxedo? We have some quick and easy tips. When wearing a tuxedo think about the classic statement of less is more. A tuxedo already has an appearance that is sharp, powerful and formidable. Don’t lose this appearance with details that are overpowering or distracting. Most importantly, think about what style wedding dress this tux needs to compliment.
If your wedding has a theme that is more casual and relaxed, this is the opportunity for your groom to suit up with a well fitting suit. The trick to pulling off a suit is to make sure that it fits well and is the right color. Traditionally worn with neckties, suits give your groom and his groomsmen the ability to make the look signaturally their own with accessories like pocket squares, vests, and suspenders. You both might be wondering what suit color would look best for the big day? If you haven’t already decided on a color palette for your wedding, think about matching the groomsmen with your bridesmaids' attire or stick to the seasonal colors of the season you are getting married.
Rent Or Buy?
For many grooms, taking a trip to their local tailor to get fitted for a tuxedo or suit can be a nightmare. If your groom is like most men, he doesn’t have a tuxedo hanging up in the closet waiting for your wedding day (even though that would be nice). It’s now time to decide between renting or purchasing your groom's tuxedo or suit.
If he is thinking about purchasing a tuxedo or suit, he should consider the other moments in life he will be required to wear one. If he has a summer packed with weddings, is constantly invited to work parties or attending charity events, investing in a sharp looking tuxedo or suit could be beneficial for him. On the other hand, a tuxedo or suit can be quite pricey and he might able to get away with the occasional tuxedo or suit rental.
Renting a tuxedo or suit comes with the benefit of a variety of trendy options to choose from. He will never have to choose the same style or color twice! Unlike finding your dream wedding dress, for grooms finding the right tuxedo or suit isn’t as lengthy of a process. In the middle of wedding planning, grooms are turning to online wedding tuxedo and suit rental companies for the at-home try on convenience and higher quality products. Matt Sebra, of GQ men’s magazine, says “If you're going to skip the step of investing in a tux, you should at least be renting one that's going to look, feel, and fit like your own. Online tuxedo and suit rental companies eliminate long and unnecessary trips to a tailor. If your groom is looking for a quick and alternative to the traditional tuxedo and suit rental, make it a date and check out online available options with him.
Meeting The Vendors
If you both have made it this far in the planning process, congratulations! You’re not even halfway there yet. For this next step of the wedding planning process, hold tightly to the hand of your groom as you prepare to meet with the endless list of wedding vendors. From artistic and moody photographers to catering options neither of you have even heard of, meeting with vendors for your wedding can bring out the good, the bad and the ugly. Although your groom might tell you to handle the details of meeting with vendors, his input is crucial! This special day is just as much about him as it is about you so every detail should be significant to both of you. If you’re both unsure of where to begin, here is a list of possible vendors to consider for your special day.
- DJ/Band - Does your cousin still have his turntable? What about getting the old band from high school back together? Can you just play The Ultimate Wedding Playlist on Spotify?
- Photographer - These pictures are forever, and they’re going to help you remember this special day. Here’s a hint: look for someone who knows how to take more than just a selfie.
- Caterer - From frog legs to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, if there is something you have in mind, there is a caterer ready to make it.
- Baker - On most occasions a box of cake mix isn’t going to cut it for your wedding day. It’s time to call in the professionals and have a cake baked for the size of a small army.
- Florist - Finding the perfect florist is more than just liking the color of the flowers they suggest. It’s time to get sentimental and think about what emotions you feel when you look at a rose, tulip or whatever a hydrangea is.
- Wedding Planner - At a certain point you might realize you can’t do everything. No matter how hard you try, you’re a groom, not superman. At this moment it’s time to start considering bringing in a professional and calling a wedding planner.
In the end, there are many tips for choosing the right wedding vendors. This is your special day so don’t be afraid to ask questions and be firm with both of your wants, needs and expectations. Expect the best but plan for the worst and always look at your options.
Grooms often need to recognize that wedding planning is a marathon, not a sprint. Together you will be neck deep in seating arrangements, frustrated with guest’s late RSVP’s and dodging last minute questions about bringing that unforeseen plus one. In the end, the most important thing to keep in mind is that all the details are going to worth it, the excitement outweighs all of the frustration, and you’re never going to be happier to start the next chapter of your life. With both of you beginning the process together, you feel more than ready for whatever challenges you might meet along the way.
Tell your groom to get ready to check off his groom’s duty list of to do’s before the night of your wedding, and be prepared to celebrate one of the biggest and most life changing moments of your both of your lives. Once the planning is done, the only thing left to do for your groom is to show up (on time!). Don’t forget those meaningful vows and the most important line of all: “I do.”
How did you and your groom plan for your big day? What are some things that motivate you to complete your wedding planning? How do you tackle the enormous to do list? What worked well and what didn’t? Let us know in the comments!